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Friday, November 20, 2015

Relationships: Friends with Benefits


By Geanice Gee, M.A.

In today's post, we're going to discuss friends with benefits. A friend with benefits is often defined as a sex buddy (partner). In other words, two people have casual sex on a regular basis; they engage in an extended fling. In fact, a person can form this type of relationship after a bad break up or simply because they don't want to be in a committed relationship. 

To some people, the typical committed relationship where feelings are involved can become problematic, and as a result, some prefer to engage in an extended fling that is drama free with no strings attached. In most cases, a person is not emotionally attached to a friend with benefits. Therefore, there's no love lost when the relationship/fling ends. 

For two people to engage in this type of relationship there must be a mutual agreement or there could be a lot of drama. It is essential that each party is aware that the relationship/fling isn't going any further than the bedroom. In fact, this agreement should be verbal in order to prevent any misunderstandings. 

Friends with Benefits Code of Conduct

1.      You shouldn't argue with this person; think about it…what problems do the two of you have with one another? If it's sexual, it may be best to move on.

2.      Never disclose any personal information. Don't introduce a fling to your family or take this person out on a date unless you want to transition over to something more serious.

3.      No one likes a clingy sex partner. The two of you are not in a committed relationship or dating, so being clingy doesn't work in this type of situation.

4.      It may be best not to spend the night together. When the sex ends, you two should go separate ways.

5.      Always use protection such as condoms and birth control. For all you know, this person could have multiple friends with benefits.

6.      This relationship should always be spontaneous and stress free, and if it's not, you should consider ending it.

7.   Don't get emotionally attached.


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