Relationships: Tips for Giving Good Gifts

By Geanice Gee, M.A. 

During the Christmas and holiday season, most people (couples) like to exchange gifts with one another. However, before giving anyone a gift, it's best to know their likes and dislikes. It's sad to say, but giving a person a bad gift could damage or be the cause of a breakup; therefore it's important to be able to distinguish between a good and a bad gift. 


Certainly, we've all heard the saying "it's the thought that counts," therefore, as you shop for gifts, try to put some thought into the process. Shop with a purpose and think relational before you purchase items. If you're not sure what your partner or loved ones would like, it's best to ask them instead of giving them something that they would hate or never use. Listed below are some tips on how to give good gifts:

·         As it was stated previously, it important to know a person's likes and dislikes before giving him or her a gift

 

·        Give meaningful/thoughtful gifts; in other words, give gifts that you would buy yourself or would be pleased to receive…when you give a person a  thoughtful gifts, it's best to tell the person the meaning behind the gift and why you decided to give him or her this particular gift

 

·         Don't recycle gifts; for instance, don't give a loved one a gift that they gave to you

·         When you don't know what type of gift to give a person, it's always a good idea to give the person cash instead; gift cards are great as well

Relationships: How to End a Bad Relationship

By Geanice Gee M.A. 

Sometimes we find ourselves in dysfunctional relationships with people who make us feel miserable; and we've all heard the old saying that "misery loves company", but this type of company should be avoided. Even though we're not happy, we often stay in bad or dead end relationships for various reasons. However, if you're feeling trapped in a detrimental relationship, it would be best to end the relationship, so that you can move on and find happiness. 

In fact, there are things that you should and shouldn't do when ending a relationship. As a matter of fact, you should be considerate of your partner's  feelings and think of the potential effect you may have on him or her after delivering the bad news. Listed below are a few tips on what you shouldn't  and should do when ending a relationship. 

Don'ts  

·         Don't break up with someone over-the-phone or through voicemail

·         Don't ask someone else to relay the message for you

·         Don't deliver the news in a public place

·         Don't drunk text/dial the person with the message saying that "it's over"

·         Don't tell someone else that you plan to end the relationship before telling your partner

·         Don't randomly break up with your partner; your partner should know that you're unhappy before you decide to terminate the relationship

·         Don't tell your partner that you're leaving him or her for someone else; this could get physical

·         Don't belittle your partner or make excuses

·         Don't try to make your partner feel better about the situation

Do's 

·         Give your partner time to digest the news

·         Talk about your role in the relationship

·         Talk about how the relationship has affected you

·         Be calm

·         Be rational

·         Be considerate

·         Be courteous

·         Know when to stop talking

Dating: Meeting the Family

By  Geanice Gee,  M.A.

Let's say, you've been dating someone for a few months, and now you think it would be a good idea to introduce this person to your loved ones. As we all know, dating someone new is an exciting experience. As a result, most people would like to share this excitement by introducing this new love interest to their friends and family.

However, when introducing someone to your friends and family, you must handle this situation delicately. In other words, it would be best to introduce this person at the right time and at the right place. In fact, you wouldn't want to risk losing your relationship with your partner, friends or any of your family members. So, in order to make the smoothest transition possible, there are a few tips that you could follow:

  

• Develop the relationship to the point that you know that it's going somewhere before introducing this person to your friends or family; each party should be equally committed (invested) in the relationship, and see a future with one another.   

• Never bring this person to a big event, such as a wedding, birthday party, or family gathering; instead bring your new love interest to a small gathering, such as a dinner at a restaurant or a church service.  

• Introduce your partner to each friend or family member individually. Remember not to disclose too much personal information about your partner, such as previous relationships, marital status, children, or occupation. 

• Try not to leave your partner by themselves at the first meeting; this can make your partner feel uncomfortable or awkward.

Relationships: Friends with Benefits

By Geanice Gee, M.A.

In today's post, we're going to discuss friends with benefits. A friend with benefits is often defined as a sex buddy (partner). In other words, two people have casual sex on a regular basis; they engage in an extended fling. In fact, a person can form this type of relationship after a bad break up or simply because they don't want to be in a committed relationship. 

To some people, the typical committed relationship where feelings are involved can become problematic, and as a result, some prefer to engage in an extended fling that is drama free with no strings attached. In most cases, a person is not emotionally attached to a friend with benefits. Therefore, there's no love lost when the relationship/fling ends. 

For two people to engage in this type of relationship there must be a mutual agreement or there could be a lot of drama. It is essential that each party is aware that the relationship/fling isn't going any further than the bedroom. In fact, this agreement should be verbal in order to prevent any misunderstandings. 

Friends with Benefits Code of Conduct

1.      You shouldn't argue with this person; think about it…what problems do the two of you have with one another? If it's sexual, it may be best to move on.

2.      Never disclose any personal information. Don't introduce a fling to your family or take this person out on a date unless you want to transition over to something more serious.

3.      No one likes a clingy sex partner. The two of you are not in a committed relationship or dating, so being clingy doesn't work in this type of situation.

4.      It may be best not to spend the night together. When the sex ends, you two should go separate ways.

5.      Always use protection such as condoms and birth control. For all you know, this person could have multiple friends with benefits.

6.      This relationship should always be spontaneous and stress free, and if it's not, you should consider ending it.

7.   Don't get emotionally attached.