Dating: Meeting the Family

By  Geanice Gee,  M.A.

Let's say, you've been dating someone for a few months, and now you think it would be a good idea to introduce this person to your loved ones. As we all know, dating someone new is an exciting experience. As a result, most people would like to share this excitement by introducing this new love interest to their friends and family.

However, when introducing someone to your friends and family, you must handle this situation delicately. In other words, it would be best to introduce this person at the right time and at the right place. In fact, you wouldn't want to risk losing your relationship with your partner, friends or any of your family members. So, in order to make the smoothest transition possible, there are a few tips that you could follow:

  

• Develop the relationship to the point that you know that it's going somewhere before introducing this person to your friends or family; each party should be equally committed (invested) in the relationship, and see a future with one another.   

• Never bring this person to a big event, such as a wedding, birthday party, or family gathering; instead bring your new love interest to a small gathering, such as a dinner at a restaurant or a church service.  

• Introduce your partner to each friend or family member individually. Remember not to disclose too much personal information about your partner, such as previous relationships, marital status, children, or occupation. 

• Try not to leave your partner by themselves at the first meeting; this can make your partner feel uncomfortable or awkward.

Relationships: Friends with Benefits

By Geanice Gee, M.A.

In today's post, we're going to discuss friends with benefits. A friend with benefits is often defined as a sex buddy (partner). In other words, two people have casual sex on a regular basis; they engage in an extended fling. In fact, a person can form this type of relationship after a bad break up or simply because they don't want to be in a committed relationship. 

To some people, the typical committed relationship where feelings are involved can become problematic, and as a result, some prefer to engage in an extended fling that is drama free with no strings attached. In most cases, a person is not emotionally attached to a friend with benefits. Therefore, there's no love lost when the relationship/fling ends. 

For two people to engage in this type of relationship there must be a mutual agreement or there could be a lot of drama. It is essential that each party is aware that the relationship/fling isn't going any further than the bedroom. In fact, this agreement should be verbal in order to prevent any misunderstandings. 

Friends with Benefits Code of Conduct

1.      You shouldn't argue with this person; think about it…what problems do the two of you have with one another? If it's sexual, it may be best to move on.

2.      Never disclose any personal information. Don't introduce a fling to your family or take this person out on a date unless you want to transition over to something more serious.

3.      No one likes a clingy sex partner. The two of you are not in a committed relationship or dating, so being clingy doesn't work in this type of situation.

4.      It may be best not to spend the night together. When the sex ends, you two should go separate ways.

5.      Always use protection such as condoms and birth control. For all you know, this person could have multiple friends with benefits.

6.      This relationship should always be spontaneous and stress free, and if it's not, you should consider ending it.

7.   Don't get emotionally attached.

Dating: The Soul Mate

By Geanice Gee, M.A. 
 

So, what's a soul mate? A soul mate is a person that you're drawn to through a spiritual connection. When you meet this person for the first time, you have an immediate connection. The connection that you experience with your soul mate is like nothing you've ever experienced before. 

In fact, you don't have to be romantically involved with your soul mate. Your soul mate could be a companion. However, in this blog post, we're focusing more on people who are meant to be together in holy matrimony.Therefore, there are ways to distinguish between who's a soul mate or a life partner. 

For instance, a life partner isn't truly compatible. In other words, a life partner will never be able to complete you. With a life partner, you may always feel like you're missing something as you yearn for more; as you yearn for fulfillment. 

 

According to Richard Bach, an American writer, "a soul mate is someone who has locks that fit our keys." The connection with your soul mate will have you questioning past relationships. Most likely, you'll begin to wonder whether or not you ever were truly in love in the past. Indeed, your soul mate understands and accepts you completely. In fact, you're happy, calm, and have a sense of peace whenever you're around your soul mate; this person completes you. 

So, what about you? Are you with your soul mate or a life partner? Are you in a relationship of  convenience? Have you or are you currently settling for a person who could be someone else's soul mate? Are you married and still searching for Mr. or Mrs. Right?  Or are you single and still waiting for your happy ending?

In any case, you can't fight the inevitable, so what's meant to be will be regardless of your relationship status. It's true that some people are seasonal while others are inescapable. However, one thing you should keep in mind is that true love never has to be forced.

Dating: Signs of an Unavailable Person

By Geanice Gee, M.A. 

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who had time for everything or everyone else, except for you? If this was the case, you probably talked to the person about this issue time and time again, but nothing changed, so ultimately, you decided to end the relationship. Afterwards, you may have second-guessed your decision; but why? 

After this failed relationship, what did you learn? How did this relationship affect you mentally, emotionally or physically? Did you gain anything from this relationship other than heartache and a headache? What would you do differently to avoid becoming involved with another unavailable person?

In fact, there are signs to identify an unavailable person, which could potentially help you in the future. Some signs of an unavailable person include:

·         Not being able to follow through with plans; unreliable, unorganized…

·         Working long hours, which doesn't leave much time for anything else

·         Living far away from one another; a long distance relationship is the only option

·         S/he dislikes (hates) his or her job

·         Has an addiction that affects time management skills

·         Spends an unusual amount of time with his or her parents

·         Married and or separated, which technically means that the person is still married

·         Plays the blame game when talking about past relationships; holds no fault

·         Just met, but wants to take up all of your time; calls and texts you 24/7; seems very obsessed

·         Money issues; poor money management

·         Dating someone else

·         Depressed

·         Miserable

·         Immature

*Pay attention to the signs.*