Dating & Relationships: Dating During the Holidays

By Geanice Gee, M.A.

As we all know, the holiday season is a busy time for most people, whether dating, married or single. Therefore, it’s sometimes difficult to decide on the do’s and don’ts when dating during the holiday season. In fact, some daters can be iffy about what to wear to certain gatherings or what to bring to a family event. To relieve some stress, we’ve provided you with some helpful tips on how to date during the holidays.

1.      During this time, it’s best to decide if you’re going to exchange gifts. If the two of you have decided to exchange gifts, you should know what he or she likes, so that you’ll be able to give a good gift.

2.      Make sure you have suitable attire to wear to holiday gatherings. If you’re going to a family gathering, be sure to leave your bedroom attire at home.

3.      If invited to a company event, be sure to see if you’re able to invite a guest, if not, it’s best to let your partner or date know ahead of time to avoid any confusion.

4.      You should only invite someone that you’ve just met to an event if you have time to show that person special attention.

5.      If your date invites you to meet his or her family, you should bring a gift such as a bottle of wine or flowers.

6.      If you’re dating several people during the holiday season, it’s best to keep track of your schedule. Having a calendar will help you keep track of past and future dates.

 

Dating and Relationships: Dating the Living Dead

By Geanice Gee, M.A.

You’ve checked his cold, lifeless body more than once, but you couldn’t find a pulse, so you called the paramedics, who then classified him as D.O.A. They crammed his body into a small body bag because of state budget cuts, and then took him to the morgue. By nightfall, he was calling and complaining about a backache while asking you to pick him up from the local hospital, and begging you to bring the pain pills. Turns out he’s a heavy sleeper who was still breathing, but it was untraceable. It just so happens that he was born with an irregular heartbeat that no one could feel or hear. 

 You’ve checked her limped body, she has a steady pulse, in addition to superhuman strength, which you discovered when you tried to cuddle with her. She simply wasn’t in the mood, so she pushes you straight through your bedroom wall leaving you with a massive headache, and an imprint similar to a body outline to remember the date. She’s not abusive, so you tell yourself, but that nicely circled black eye, bite marks on your neck, and scratches on your torso, say otherwise, so just be careful. 

He eats hearty meals, but sometimes he prefers his steak rare. In the past, she’s drunk cow’s blood claiming that this was part of a diet regimen, and that it’ll also help to build her strength, so you didn’t question her motives until you began to look and feel drained of life, but by this point, it was too late. The relationship changed the both of you, but you didn’t reap any of the benefits.

  

He’s getting better while she’s looking younger as your health deteriorates. Now, you’re looking like the living dead while they're becoming more human; feeding off of your life to get ahead in the world. Today, it’s you, but after you’re out of the way, there will be others. 

You talk, but he doesn’t hear you as he plays video games during the night and rest during the day. It’s likes he’s allergic to daylight, garlic, and his own reflection. While she hears nothing you say, as if you’re invisible. Something has to change.

The relationship is dead, and it’s been dead for some time now.  I understand that you don’t want to just walk away, but staying is literally killing you. So, what are you going to do? Stay and be devoured, or leave and restore your strength.

Dating and Relationships: Weighing Your Options

By Geanice Gee, M.A.

Similar to purchasing a new car, food, or a house, it’s best to shop around while dating. For instance, you may meet someone while dating someone else, and decide that you want to start dating this new person. So, what do you do? Do you end things with the person you’re currently dating, or do you date both at the same time?

In fact, it’s perfectly normal to date more than one person at the same time. You’re not in a committed relationship; this is called the dating stage. Therefore, no strings are attached, but this information must be clear to both parties, or there will be drama. In this situation, you can have your cake and eat it too.   

In any case, it’s important to know the difference between dating and courtship. To courtship a person means that you are a couple (in a relationship) that may lead to marriage; so with courtship, each person is committed in a monogamous relationship.

Furthermore, weighing your options helps you find someone who is most compatible, instead of settling for someone that’s convenient. Why waste your time or someone else’s when you could plan ahead, and date with a purpose. Below are some tips on how you can weigh your options while dating.

• Get to know the person before you make any kind of commitment

  • What does the person do for a living?

  • How does the person behave when upset?

  • How is the person’s home environment?

    • Is he or she a neat freak or messy?

  • Does the person do anything that you can’t stand?

  • What does the person want out of life?

  • Does the person want to be in a committed relationship?

     

• Know yourself before you start dating

  • What do you want out of this experience?

  • Are you looking for a steady relationship?

  • What type of person do you see yourself with?

  • Are you relationship material?

     

 

Dating and Relationships: Questions to Ask On Your First Date

By Geanice Gee, M.A.

So, you’ve taken the first step, and have agreed to go out on a date. But now you don’t know what the two of you are going to discuss. In fact, you don’t know what questions will be seen as offensive because in the past you’ve said some things that should’ve been left unsaid.

 

Fortunately, those were learning experiences, and now you know from the past that you have to be well prepared before going on a date. In order to prepare for your date, I’ve listed some tips for asking questions that could be incorporated into your conversation.

1.      Background questions are very important. During your date, you should get to know this person; in fact, getting to know your date should be your main objective. Therefore, this could be seen as the interview stage as you are both the interviewee and interviewer.

 

                       a.       Who is this person?

                                                              i.  Before going on the date, one suggestion would be to conduct a Google search; check out this person’s online activity (public criminal record) to see if this is the type of person you want to be associated with.

 

 

                                                             ii.  Introduction: you should start the date by introducing yourself; throughout the date, try to ask questions that are open ended and require more than just a yes or no answer. For example:

 

1.       What do you like/dislike?

2.       Have you ever been married?

3.       What do you do for a living?

4.       Have you ever been incarcerated?

WARNING: This question could be seen as a turn-off or offensive to some, but just like an employment application, this question is important, but it doesn’t necessarily disqualify the person.

2.       Goals

a.       What are your future plans?  

b.       What are you doing to make these goals possible?

c.       Where do you see yourself in the next five years?

d.       Could you see yourself in a relationship that leads to marriage?

Again, this post is intended to help daters generate ideas for asking questions during their first date. Similar to an interview, you want to ask questions to see if this person is compatible. Good luck!

Dating & Relationships: Dating Tips for the Unemployed

By Geanice Gee, B.A. M.A.

Whether you were fired, laid off, or are simply looking to change your career, being unemployed doesn’t mean that you have to put your love life on hold. In fact, while you’re unemployed, you may feel afraid of what the future holds as you come to terms with no longer having a steady income. Even though this may be a scary time, one thing that you should keep in mind is that being unemployed is temporary. Therefore, the tips provided below can help ease the pressure of being unemployed as you conduct a job search, and ultimately transition into your new position.

1. As it has been stated previously, being unemployed is a temporary situation, therefore, as you search for employment be aware that this process takes time, but it’s necessary to incorporate fun while on this journey; it’s also important that you find balance as you search for work and maintain a healthy social life.
2. While you have the free time, you’ll have more time to spend with that special person before you start your new job, but be certain to let this person know that you don’t usually have this much free time. Therefore, when you return to full-time employment, there’ll be no misunderstanding regarding your availability.                                
3. During this time, you don’t want to spend a lot of money, so you should be as resourceful as possible while dating and searching for new employment. Some cost efficient date locations to consider would be the park and the beach. In fact, you could prepare a meal in your home or plan a romantic picnic.

 

 

Dating & Relationships: Tips for Summer Dating

By Geanice Gee, M.A. 

Spring has past and now summer is here, but will also fade away into fall. But for now, the weather is hot, and you're most likely one of the many singles looking for a new summer romance. Things may not have worked out for you in the previous seasons. Your winter romance may have been bitter and frigid, while your spring romance may have been irritating. 

So now that you're single, you're looking for someone that fits you to a tee.  During the summer, couples can participant in outdoor activities as their relationship heats up. In this post, you'll find some tips for dating in the summer. Some great dating summer tips include: 

1.      Engaging in outdoor activities. For example, you could take your date to a yard sale, which typically takes place in the morning; as you and your date go through someone else's belongings, you could use this time to get to know one another better while also finding items at a discounted price.

2.      Who doesn't like a nice summer picnic? Indeed, a picnic could be romantic and inexpensive compared to a restaurant. Again, this type of date gives you time to get to know your date better while also sharing a good meal in great weather. Remember to be creative when planning the picnic. 

3.      Other outdoor activities that could be fun include: boating; taking a trip to the beach and relaxing on the hot sand while also swimming or surfing in the water. Indeed, these types of outdoor activities could be adventurous.

4.      Going to the movies could be a good date. For instance, if a new film just came out that the two of you have been talking about, this would be a great time to go and see it. You could also try something different by going to outdoor screenings, or catching a classic flick.

5.      Food festivals, sporting events, state fairs, and wine tasting events at vineyards are all great places for summer dates. 

Furthermore, as long as you're happy with the person you're with, any place that you decide to spend time together will be worthwhile. These tips are provided to help you make the best of your summer dating experience.